And here I present the final entry in my crowdpleasing Wesley Pipes marathon. Oh, I might have another clip or two knocking around somewhere, and you might see it before I am done, but tomorrow I will move on to a different porno subject, if only for the freeform fun of it.

But I’m curious to see what kind of response the ol’ Pipes brings from porno fans. Does he have his own base, who rabidly follow his every porno move? I would imagine that he does - in my mind, it would make perfect sense that Wesley has some hard-core devoteés. But you can never really tell with porn. That’s the beauty of porn and the curse of porn: it’s such an anonymous venture. Kids all across the land have pictures of Kobe Bryant up on their bedroom walls (mildly homoerotic, wouldn’t you say? Little suburban white kid having this picture of a half-naked black man with a perfect body, sweating and victorious, with the look of a hired killer in his eyes, perched above his four-poster suburban bed, probably keeping that poster up there from the age of 10 to 13 until he gets sick of the poster and tries marijuana for the first time and then crumples Kobe and puts up a framed Lynyrd Skynyrd black light number in its place?) No kid, teenager, or grown man in the entire universe has a Wesley Pipes poster up in his room. They simply don’t exist. And in any case, porn owns a different kind of fan action, is what I’m saying - though the athletic and charismatic principle is the same, and if Kobe doesn’t know Wesley’s body of work, then I think he should be introduced to it.

Really: who does Kobe watch, when he watches porn? You know that Kobe watches porn, cuz he’s sure as shit not fucking around behind his wife’s back again, if only for the simple reason that he doesn’t want to part with another six point five million dollar rock, which is what he bribed her with the last time around, Colorado Springs style. He’s not hammering random room service pussy anymore, we assume that - but a man’s a man, and Kobe’s as much of a man as the rest of us (except he’s part reptilian and his blood temperature is a chilly 6 degrees celcius). He has a laptop all his own; and he has some sort of privacy, I assume: my man’s watching porn.

Now, would Kobe watch an Eon McKai movie? I hate to be dismissive, but I don’t fucking think so. Maybe he’d watch a Brandon Iron venture, or a Khan Tusion piece of work, but I sorely doubt it and would in fact first wager on Tyler Hansborough making the NBA all-rookie team next year. Nope, Kobe’s more likely watching the kind of porn that I used to proudly produce: black-on-white, interracial slambangs starring men with whom he can identify and sympathize. Kobe’s watching Lexington Steele, Justin Slayer (does he still exist?), Brian Pumper, and Mr. Marcus. And he would have been watching Wesley Pipes - had Wesley Pipes not been doing two and a half year recently for carrying a pistol.

Isn’t that ironic? Pipes goes to jail - for a ridiculously long stretch - for carrying a firearm, in violation of his parole (initial sentence explicated by Pipes in the above video), while K. Bryant is free to roam the streets of Los Angeles despite doing vaginal damage to one Colorado Springs debutante. He dogged her worse’n’ he did Dwight Howard; and yet because of his superior lawyer, he’s absolutely free.

But then there was Michael Vick, who basically was in jail for the exact same amount of time as Wesley and in the precise same time period. (Though I think Vick served in Atlanta - am I wrong? - while Pipes was in California). No amount of good lawyering could save Vick from the rabid claws and teeth of the ASPCA, who wanted him behind bars for dogfighting. Um. Kay. Vick does two years for dogfighting, Pipes does two years for carrying a firearm, and Bryant gets off scott-free. I don’t hold judgements for any of this behavior - more, I just wonder whether Vick and Bryant - the best in their fields - even know about Pipes, who was the best in his field too, particularly around the time that I was shooting these interviews, which was summer 2002. In fact, he was nominated for AVN’s “Performer of the Year” that January 2003 - but Lexington Steele won it for the third time in a row and no one was suprised.

Ricky Henderson and Jim Rice were inducted to the baseball Hall of Fame yesterday. Did either of them tune in to YouTube to catch the latest installment of the Wesley Pipes anthology? Of course they didn’t - they were too busy reliving 1,026 stolen bases and 81 lead-off home runs (both major league records, set by Henderson, a jheri-curled madman who reminds everyone of Terrell Owens, just with more jheris.) They were too busy sniffing about the years 1977-1979, when Rice became the only player in major league history to notch more than 35 home runs and 200 hits in the same season three consecutive times. Did they watch out for their neglected brothers-in-porn? Did they mention them even ONCE in their acceptance speeches? No. Of course they didn’t. Because the connection is tangential at best, and I’m just breaking balls here.

In fact, what the hell am I talking about? I’m blathering on here. But I’m allowed to - I’ve done my job for the blog today, and that’s supplying you with indisputably valuable content. Wesley Pipes. Goddamn, I love having access to my video vault. It makes the job of blogging hardly a job at all.